Psychologists distinguish four basic types of attachment in relationships. Of these, only the secure one is characterized as qualitatively acceptable for the acquisition of personal happiness, and the other three are considered violations that hinder it.
- Secure type of attachment
Characterized by a positive image of oneself and a positive image of others – that is, a person with this type knows how to value oneself and trust others. People with secure attachment are open to a partner, are not afraid of emotional intimacy, are willing and able to be loving and sincere. According to psychologists, the chances of harmony in a joint life are highest in characters with secure attachment, which contributes to a positive perception of romantic relationships and overall satisfaction. - Anxious type of attachment
Characterized by a negative image of self and a positive image of others (“I’m bad, they’re good”): this type is plagued by doubts and anxieties, especially if the object of affection is cold or reserved. A person with anxious attachment is characterized by a burning desire for emotional intimacy, the need for constant confirmation of the partner’s feelings, which often leads to co-dependence in the relationship. People with such attachment are characterized by insecurity, jealousy, and emotional expression. - Avoidant-rejecting type of attachment
Psychologists refer to the third and fourth types of attachment to those that are acquired in adulthood, as a result of lived experience: they are unknown to children. Avoidant-rejecting attachment is characteristic of independent persons, for whom a high degree of closeness and openness in feelings is unacceptable. They are most often selfish, because their “working” model is a positive image of themselves and a negative image of others, which explains their alienation in romantic relationships. This type of attachment is in perpetual defense, suppressing and hiding their emotions. - Anxious-avoidant attachment type
This type of attachment is characterized by a negative self-image and a negative image of others and is usually manifested in those who have actually suffered in the relationship – from physical, moral or sexual abuse. Such people find it difficult to be loving and open despite the desire for intimacy. The desire to distance themselves is driven by fear of being rejected/s and discomfort with contact of any kind. They not only do not trust their partner, but also do not consider themselves worthy of love.
